Dubya's definition of "democracy"...

...according to the White House website:

[A] modern Muslim country that is able to provide for its citizens, that understands that democracy is the wave of the future.

Retard in Chief welcoming this Saddam wannabe with open arms, saying he "understands that democracy is the wave of the future."

Ilham Aliyev's government engages in arbitrary imprisonment of political opponents, torture of persons in custody, and government-wide corruption which prevents any real reform. Just ask Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, or Dubya's own State Department, whose most recent report reads like a laundry list in Hell:

* restricted right of citizens to peacefully change their government
* torture and beating of persons in custody, leading to four deaths
* arbitrary arrest and detention, particularly of political opponents
* harsh and life-threatening prison conditions
* police impunity
* lengthy pretrial detention
* pervasive corruption in the judiciary
* some restrictions of privacy rights
* periodic interference with media freedom
* excessive use of force to disperse demonstrations
* instances of violence and societal discrimination against women
* trafficking in persons
* limited workers' rights

Read the U.S. government's own report. It's terrifying. No honest or sane person would call this a "democracy." The kicker is that Azerbaijan has oil. And a bigass pipeline.

Aliyev's government also uses a variety of means to circumvent international law, manipulate elections, and limit the media's ability to report the truth. Does this sound familiar?

And Aliyev only came to power in an election so filled with one-sided irregularities than most objective observers considered it rigged. (Even Bush's own State Department dryly calls it "an election that did not meet international standards.") And they should know.

This is apparently what Bush means when he says Azerbaijan is developing as "a modern, secular, democratic country."

Bush actually said "We share the same values."

Indeed.

Shameless pricks

Friday funny Part II

Thanks to Brenda!

It's only NATIONAL SECURITY!

Why does Chimpy have such a hard on to give Dubai access to our country?

Bush Set to Approve Takeover of 9 Military Plants by Dubai

WASHINGTON, April 27 — President Bush is expected on Friday to announce his approval of a deal under which a Dubai-owned company would take control of nine plants in the United States that manufacture parts for American military vehicles and aircraft, say two administration officials familiar with the terms of the deal.

continue...

The Vent from the AJC

High gasoline prices are taking a toll. SUV now stands for Suddenly Unwanted Vehicle.

If liberal dissent empowers the terrorists, how are they affected by conservative incompetence?

Get ready folks. Congress is about to sucker punch you again! Who do you think pays when they tax Big Oil? No company pays taxes — it’s all included in the price of the goods or services.

If I were the official gas price changer at any gas station, I believe I would start wearing a bulletproof vest.

We made $1,700 at our garage sale this weekend. We celebrated by buying a tank of gas.

My friend is getting married, and they let their family and friends know that they’re registered at Shell, BP and Texaco.

Poor Scott McClellan just couldn’t lie straight. So they go to their close friends at FOX News to solve the Snow Job problem.

Jay Leno said it best: Bush says sending 1 million people to another country is impossible? Why not? Mexico did it.

OK, Cynthia sassed a cop and berated a flunky, I would hate to see what you would say if she started a war and shot somebody.

Friday funny

Thanks to Ray in San Diego!

Can you be bought for $100?

So now the bastards are trying to bribe us into allowing them to open ANWR for drilling. It will work beautifully on at least 32% of Americans.

Senate Republicans advocate sending $100 rebate checks to millions of taxpayers, and a Democrat is leading the campaign for a 60-day gasoline tax holiday.

A vote is possible as early as this week on the Senate GOP approach, which calls for $100 rebate checks for taxpayers to cushion the impact of higher gasoline prices. The measure seems unlikely to prevail, at least initially, since it includes a highly controversial proposal to open a portion of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling.

Oil Profits Soar With Pump Prices

"What, me worry?"

Neil Young's Blog

Living With War

A Maniacal Messianic Prepares to Fulfill His Destiny

by Ted Rall

"I have fulfilled my destiny," the president says manically. He has just entered the nuclear launch codes that will trigger World War III. Seconds later, he emerges from a bunker. The Secretary of State squeezes between two soldiers. "Mr. President!" he shouts. "We have a diplomatic solution!"

He smiles. "It's too late," he replies. "The missiles are flying. Alleluia. Alleluia."

Continue...

Tom the Dancing Bug

Luckovich 04/26/2006

Tony Snow to accept White House offer

Looks as if FAUX News robot Tony Snow will accept the job as the new White House press secretary to replace Scott McClellan . The announcement might come in a few days or as early as tomorrow.

Neal Gabler, the man Bill O'Reilly wants fired from "Fox News Watch," had this to say on Saturday about Tony:

"It would be a change in job title, but not description."

Tuesday Funny

Apparently the Rolling Stones have a better advance team than the White House. Dubya is scheduled to be in Vienna, Austria at the same time as the Stones. Notorious for luxury, privacy, and cost, the Royal Suite in the Imperial Hotel has already been booked by Mick Jagger, as well as the remaining rooms on the floor:

A source close to the millionaire singer said last night: “White House officials had wanted to reserve the suite and all the other rooms on the first floor. But Mick and the Stones had already booked every one of them. Bush’s people seemed to be under the impression that they would just hand over the suites but there was no way Mick was going to do that.”

Curious about the rates? The Imperial Suite is $6400 per night.Which begs the question "What makes Chimpy think that US taxpayers want to put him up for that kind of money?" It seems to me that he could book accomodations more reasonably priced that relect his standing in the world. Isn't there a Motel 6 in Vienna?

Public Service Announcement

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, she went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. The woman's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, she passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps she would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK . to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.




I looked this up at www.snopes.com and it appears to be valid.

Nuking Iran

Dubya, his minions in Congress, and the bought and paid for "news media" are doing their best to desensitize us to their crimes. They want us to come to the point where when they drop a nuke on someplace in Iran that their "intelligence" tells them is a WMD site, we'll all just shrug our shoulders just as we did when they invaded Iraq.

We've set up camps in eastern European nations for the sole purpose of torturing human beings, many innocent. We have secret courts in Guantanamo and American citizens are detained for years without charges filed. Shades of Hitler and Stalin but still, we just shrug our shoulders.

There was once a time when Americans could say, "my country would never do that" and be reasonably certain they were right. I'm not saying we're angels, but Americans generally did the right thing. An allegation of torture (especially torture of innocents) would shock us all and we'd demand Congress get to the bottom of it. Now, as long as it doesn't confront our sheltered lives, we don't give a shit.

In case you Bush devotees don't realize the consequences of nuclear war, it would mean:

* you can't drive to the mega-mall in your sport utility vehicle anymore.

* no more Whoppers, Slurpees, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, or all-you-can-eat buffets.

* you can't watch American Idol, Faux News, and South Park reruns on the 72-inch television in the living room of your half-a-million-dollar home sitting on your precious little patch of pleasant valley Sunday suburbia anymore.

* no more male bonding with your golfing buddies.

* no more Prozac, Xanax, Ritalin, or NASCAR.

* you can't go to the hospital if you become seriously ill - or, if you're about to give birth, you and your soon-to-be child are on your own, 'cause there ain't no hospital to go to.

and:

* when you had it made, you didn't appreciate it, you lost what you had, and you have no right to complain, never mind howl like a whipped dog to have it all back.

If this administration drops one nuke on Iran, that's it, game over, we've crossed the point of no return. There will be no such thing as "Homeland Security" after that - Dubya and friends will have forfeited it. If you white bread Republicans want to hold onto your stock portfolios, Monday night football, deer camp, cuban cigars, and personal porn collections, then you had better start raising hell...

Damn it! Where's all that good news?

Six car bombs exploded on Monday, killing at least six people and wounding dozens, as politicians met to try to finalise a new cabinet.

Police discovered bodies of 17 Iraqis - apparent victims of sectarian killings the United States hoped the new government could end.

Police said that elsewhere, in Baghdad and other areas, a roadside bomb, two drive-by shootings and a mortar round killed six other Iraqis.

On Sunday, at least three US soldiers and 31 Iraqis were killed, and the country's largest Sunni Arab party raised new allegations of sectarian killings - one of the most urgent issues facing the new leadership.

Republican Hypocrites

Oil is currently just over $75 a barrel. I thought it would be interesting to read some of the statements various Republicans made about the Clinton administration back in 2000. Candidate Bush was blaming President Clinton for oil at around $30 a barrel and gas prices going over a whopping $1.50 per gallon.

Rep. Terry Everett: "The Clinton Administration has failed in its duty to develop a policy to deal with our national energy supply and is therefore directly accountable for the higher prices Americans are now paying at the gas pumps."

Dennis Hastert: "House Speaker Dennis Hastert accused the Clinton administration Friday of misleading members of Congress about the causes of skyrocketing gas prices in the Midwest."

Rep. Wally Herger: "Congressman Wally Herger recently denounced the Clinton-Gore Administration's complacency during the current gas price crisis. 'Northern Californians are being held hostage at the gas pump,' Herger said. 'The Clinton-Gore Administration has demonstrated a complete and total lack of leadership in preventing this problem. It is a clear failure of domestic and foreign policy.'"

Larry Kudlow: "The Clinton-Gore administration's hapless and incoherent management of foreign policy is nowhere as evident as in their bungling on OPEC's oil-price hike. ... While crude oil prices could drop to $25 per barrel, they will stay well above the average $20 real price of oil registered over the past ten years. And way above the $10 worldwide average marginal cost of producing new oil. Meanwhile gas prices at the pump are likely to be upwards of $2 per gallon well into the summer."

Glenn Spencer: "In recent weeks, gas prices have surged to their highest level in a decade. Prices for home heating oil and natural gas are expected to rise by about 30 percent this winter. ... With the Clinton-Gore administration's policies largely to blame for the pain being felt by consumers, Vice President Gore's camp has pulled out all the stops to shift blame away from his own administration."

Various Repubs: "Representatives Jim Sensenbrenner (R-Menomonee Falls), Tom Petri (R-Fond du Lac), Paul Ryan (R-Janesville), and Mark Green (R-Green Bay) today blasted Energy Secretary Bill Richardson and the Clinton-Gore Administration for their failure to implement a comprehensive energy policy to deal with staggering gas prices Wisconsin consumers continue to face at the pumps."

Where are the loud, outraged voices of these people now? They've gone very quiet for some reason. And what's George W. Bush's solution to the problem? Sorry folks - you're on your own.

Protecting our Guests

I just read this news report online today:

Federal charges were filed Friday against a heckler who interrupted an otherwise highly scripted ceremony welcoming Chinese President Hu Jintao to the White House the day before, berating him for the persecution of the Chinese religious sect Falun Gong. Wen Yi Wang, 47, was charged with harassing a foreign official, a federal misdemeanor punishable by six months in prison and a fine of $5,000. The federal law is designed to protect foreign dignitaries and official guests, and prohibits attempts to "intimidate, threaten, coerce or harass a foreign official or an official guest or obstruct a foreign official in the performance of his duties."

Further proof that "freedom of speech" does not really exist in the USA. It's also obvious that China (an important US trade partner) and top Chinese officials such as Hu Jintao, are exempt from the same criticism that so-called "Evil Empires" such as Iran, Cuba, North Korea, and Myanmar (Burma) are subjected to. As long as the USA is doing business with your country, you can get away with as many human rights violations as you wish.

Quote of the year

I know I've posted this before but it bears repeating.

“The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole. Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile. To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
-Theodore Roosevelt

Thursday funny

This is just funny!

Bill Bennett: Pulitzer prize winners should be thrown in jail

"How do we know it damaged us? Well, it revealed the existence of the surveillance program - so people are going to stop making calls - since they are now aware of this - they're going to adjust their behavior - Are they punished, are they in shame, are they embarrassed, are they arrested? No, they win pulitzer prizes - they win pulitzer prizes - I don't think what they did was worthy of an award - I think what they did was worthy of jail, and I think this investigation needs to go forward..."
-Bill Bennett

So much for freedom of the press!

New Neil Young

I can't wait for Neil Young’s new anti-war album which is coming out soon. Be prepared, though, for another round of dumbass right wing bloggers and talking heads explaining why artists and musicians aren’t qualified to express political opinions.

Unlike, you know, the dumbass right wing bloggers and talking heads themselves.

Tuesday Funny

Sorry for the daily funnies but at least I'm getting SOMETHING posted :-)


(Click image to enlarge)

Monday Funny

Bush and a secret service agent are taking a stroll when they come upon a little girl carrying a basket with a blanket over it. Curious, Bush asks the girl, "what's in the basket?"

"new baby kittens," she replies, and opens the basket to show him.

"how nice," says bush. "what kind are they?"

"Republicans," says the little girl.

Bush smiles, pats the little girl on the head and continues on.

Three weeks later, Bush is taking another stroll, this time with Karl Rove. They see the little girl with the basket, and Bush says, "watch this, Karl --- it's really cute."

They approach the little girl. Bush greets her and asks how the kittens are doing. "fine," she says.

Smirking, he nudges Rove and asks the little girl, "and what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," she replies.

Aghast, Bush sputters, "but three weeks ago you said they were Republicans!"

"they were," she says. "but now their eyes are open."

Quote of the day

"In science it often happens that scientists say, ‘You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,’ and then they actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion."
-Carl Sagan, 1987 CSICOP keynote address

Asshat Quote of the day

"One reason illegal immigrants find work in the United States is because 50 million abortions have caused a U.S. labor shortage. We could have used those people."
-GA State Sen. Nancy Schaefer, speaking at an "issues day" event in February

Are we safe?

In a two-day period in March, alarming reports revealed that "dirty bombs" easily entered the country in car trunks in tests, that one-third of U.S. civilian nuclear research reactors were insufficiently secure, and that concerns were heightened about the 2,000 shoulder-fired missiles said to be unaccounted for in the world's arsenals.

On the other hand, the Los Angeles Times reported that the fishing village of Dillingham, Alaska, pop. 2,400, at least, is secure, now that a $200,000 Homeland Security anti-terrorism grant has paid for 60 "downtown" surveillance cameras (with 20 more to come). Dillingham is about 300 miles from Anchorage, with no roads linking it to anywhere.

Luckovich 04/13/2006

Friday funny

Thanks to Brenda!

Drugs of a different nature

"The devil, which is only an idea, is an excuse for evil. A philosophy, if you will. Just as God, the idea of God, is just an excuse for good. They're the fuckin' needle, God and Devil, and they're waiting for junkies like you and me to happen."

A conversation between two characters in Boston Teran's novel "God is a Bullet"

A little advice for right wing "Christians"

Maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't feel this animosity and "persecution" if you weren't using your religion as a weapon to destroy the lives of others. Maybe you wouldn't feel as if people dislike you for being Christian if you weren't suing for the right to be a bigot.

Knock off the sob story, you morons. It's bullshit; everyone knows it, and you're embarrassing the real Christians. Stop fabricating things like the war on Christmas and Easter, and try using your Christian beliefs to enrich your life, rather than making others miserable. You just might feel closer to God.

Thursday Funny

Somebody is going to hell :-)

The Wizard of Oz Jesus Dress Up!

Cosmetic Activities

Thai teenagers are a lot like youngsters in other countries around the world. They like to chat with their friends, play computer games, listen to music, and hang out in shopping malls.

But a recent poll by the Child Watch Project/Thailand Research Fund revealed a few other interests. Not surprisingly, “engaging in sex” was a popular choice with 16 percent of respondents listing that as a daily activity. Slightly higher, at 18 percent, was “Soccer Betting.” But just behind that, in the 17 percent group, was a most curious item: “Planning to have cosmetic surgery.”

Yes, it looks like a lot of nose jobs and breast implants are on the horizon for the youth of Thailand. But that number still pales in comparison to the 63 percent that obsess over something else: buying a new mobile phone.