Presidential Inauguration Marred By Bush Appearance

WASHINGTON, D.C.-A generally festive inauguration ceremony in the Nation's chilly Capital on January 2oth was tempered by the conspicuous presence of George W. Bush.

The majority of dignitaries in attendance made the best of an awkward situation. "I guess he had to show up today," remarked one slightly annoyed Capitol Hill lobbyist, "but we'll take it from here. He can go back to Crawford now. We've got things covered."

The generally resigned mood was summed up by one of the Party faithful. "Yeah, this is the kind of thing you really hate to see, but what are ya gonna do? I would have voted for a toaster oven, if it meant keeping a Democrat out of the White House."

An ever pragmatic Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld did his best to keep things in perspective, saying, "As we all know, you go with the President you have, not the President you'd like to have or may have at some point in the future."

Bush himself was excited to be sworn in, exclaiming afterward, "Wow! 43rd and 44th President! That's got to be some kind of record, huh?"

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