President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit a United Methodist Church outside of Washington D.C. where the Bishop was scheduled to preach. Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on Social Security and other issues. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds so I will agree to do it."
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug As the sermon progresses the Bishop continues: "George W. Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He steals elections. He politicizes science. He lies about his military record; and has the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished' after an unlawful and immoral war on Iraq.
He invaded a country for oil and profits, and continues to lie to the American people about why we are there and 'must stay the course'. He continues to blur the line between church and state. Cronyism and corruption are rampant in his administration. All in all, he is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known. But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George W. Bush is a saint."
Thanks to Brenda!
3.10.2006
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